With Jason leaving for work before the boys wake up (most mornings) and arriving home from work (usually) when they're in their pj's, I finally agreed to accept some help with the boys. I tried looking at nanny websites but just couldn't stomach the idea of leaving them with someone whom we don't know.
Last week, I had a brainstorm about using the school's after school extended day program. The boys are enrolled, and today is their first day of extended day. I thought that I'd be thrilled to have this time for myself. I've been aching for time alone, a break from the intensity of raising these two munchkins.
And now the day is here, and it's not going as I'd planned. First, I woke up feeling guilty and sad rather than excited and relieved. I already missed them, even while they were still in the other room playing. Then, when I was dropping them off at school, Zach fell out of the car, landing on the wet pavement (it's raining today). If I thought that I was feeling guilty for leaving them for a long day at school earlier, I feel even more wretched now that Zach literally fell out of the car on his way to school. Waaaahhh!
You are a great mom, and the boys will have fun in the extended day program! I know you feel bad now, but you will enjoy having some peace. It will be good for all of you. HUGS!!!!!
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