So, most of you know that Gabe can be a handful. He's a bundle of emotions, and those emotions are usually in the extreme forms. He tends to be over-the-top happy or appreciative OR overflowing with anger and frustration.
An example of super happy Gabe
The other day, he found a reed of sorts in the backyard. It was just a long piece of grass, with a little reedy top, folks. Well, he ran up to me, saying that he found the most beautiful flower of his life; that this flower made him feel better; that he now felt as if everything was okay. Huh?
An example of super angry Gabe
When his struggle-of-a-mom took him to school on the wrong day, and Gabe learned that he would NOT be starting school yesterday, he got very angry. I told him that it was Mommy's fault, that she got the day wrong, and that she was super sorry. Gabe said, "it's not your fault, Mom. It's the teacher's fault" (the teacher who came out to my car to tell me to go home, essentially) Gabe went on to say, "I'm going to hit that teacher into the ground!"
The tough conversations
Last week, I was mowing the lawn in the backyard, trying to prepare for Hurricane Irene. At first, Gabe was "mowing" the lawn beside me with his lawnmower. Evidently it got old, so Gabe went off to play with Zach. All of a sudden, Gabe comes over to my lawnmower and tries to grab it. I got scared and told him never to touch the lawnmower, that it's hot and he could get hurt. A few minutes later, out of the blue, Gabe throws a rock at the lawnmower (making contact with the mower). Now, I stop mowing, and I'm pretty angry with Gabe. I tell him that he should never throw rocks at the mower, etc. Literally a few minutes later, he throws a big beach ball at the mower. Now I'm feeling pretty ticked off. I stop the mower again and have some words with him. He grunts and runs off.
After I'm done mowing, Gabe knows that I'm still frustrated with him, so he says that he's sorry for throwing the rock and the ball and that he'll never do it again. I tell him something to the effect that he knows better and that saying sorry is good, but that it doesn't just fix everything. (He says sorry a lot and thinks that sorry means there won't be consequences.) I tell him that after he threw the rock and we talked, that I never imagined that he'd go on to throw the ball. Gabe says, "I can't stop myself." Now we're getting somewhere! He went on to say that he was angry that I was mowing the lawn and that he couldn't stop himself from throwing things. I was SO happy to hear him talk about how he was feeling, so I told him that I'll never be mad at him for telling me how he feels, but that I will be mad if he acts out those angry feelings with fresh choices. It was a really good talk.
This morning's talk
Gabe was going after Zach this morning. He hit him with a very hard and pointy dinosaur and then hurt him again with the play house. When I took him aside to talk about what was happening, Gabe said, "I want to change." We hugged for a long time and I tried to impress upon him that he didn't need to change himself - that he's perfect just the way that he is - but that he needs to work on his choices and change those choices. As we were hugging, he said that he didn't want to change, that it was too hard.
I just hope that I can help him work through all of this. I feel so sorry for him that he struggles so much. I often feel like, overnight, he went from the easiest, happiest baby to the most adorable but emotional toddler in town.
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